What Stops Moms from Self-Care?


What Stops Moms from Self-Care?


Written by: Kayla Berg

Self-Care: we all want it, need it, and would love to find time for more of it. So why don’t we? What gets in the way?

To get to this I’m going to tell a story.

This year over the holidays, I got pretty sick with a bad cold. It may have even been a Man-Cold.

My husband was watching the kids for the afternoon so I could rest and I decided to take care of myself by going for a bath. Great self-care, right? I got my towel, found some eucalyptus scented bath salts to help me breathe, and then pulled back the shower curtain to turn on the water.

And then I cried.

Every single toy ever created was in my tub, blocking me from my warm, much needed soak.

I sat down on the toilet to assess my options. I could abandon my bath plans (happens a lot), cry and then abandon my plans (also happens a lot), or I could clean them up and go for my bath.

It was so tempting to give up on my bath, I was feeling awful. It was tempting to give up on my Self-Care time to go do something else less satisfying.

Which bring me to the point of this post. As moms, we often have many extra things put in our path to self-care. It’s never as simple as deciding to do something and then getting to immediately do that thing.

First, we have to arrange for someone to watch the kids, rearrange the schedule, and carve out time that could be spent on a ton of other things on our to-do lists. Then there’s often another step like having to clean out bath toys, walk the dog first, put the laundry in the dryer, find clean undies and so one. And possibly even one or a bunch more steps. I won’t even get into the interruptions that happen.

It gets complicated.

And that’s where we often end up deciding that it’s easier to not do the self-care that we really want to do. The things that would end up bringing us more contentment, energy, and joy. We abandon it thinking it’s the better thing for us. And yes, sometimes it might be, but more often, that extra effort pays off in ways we can’t see in the moment.

That five minutes of yoga a day doesn’t feel like much each day, but over the course of a few months is enough to feel more peaceful and less reactive with the kids. Going out shopping for some new things to flatter your post-baby body once and a while results in a wardrobe that brings about more confidence. The regular massage appointments help keep the tension headaches away. The coffee with a good friend helps keep you feeling connected to other adults. The baths give you time to breathe and rest in quiet giving you more patience.

Whatever your preferred self-care is, the extra effort to make it happen can make all the difference and adds up over time.

It’s also important to recognize that the extra hoops that we have to jump through exist, probably aren’t going anywhere, and need to be part of the plan, so we can be the best versions of ourselves for our families.

Moms, let’s clean those bath toys out and take that Self-Care time. Okay?

For more information on Kayla Berg Coaching and her new book Frazzled to Free, go to: www.kaylaberg.com/

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