Adults Only: My First Vacation Sans Baby

08/30/2018

The one thing that is completely not exaggerated about being a new mom is the astronomical amount of sleep you will lose. You never get those precious hours of slumber back. They are gone forever like shirts without throw-up on them and long morning showers.  In fact you are so used to being tired that you actually can’t remember a time when your life wasn’t full of 2am screamings and 4am diaper changes.

So when your husband buys you and your mother in law an all-inclusive trip to Aruba you start packing, immediately. Most likely the reason he booked you the trip was to butter you up for “getting cracking” (his words, not mine) on a second baby, but you drink the Kool Aid and don’t look back.

Of course it would be hard to leave my nine-month-old bundle of joy behind, although not as hard as it was for all the “backseat mothers” in my life. The moms who just absolutely love giving you that unsolicited advice on, well, everything. “Oh wow, I could never leave my baby at nine months. Good for you that you could do that.” Or “I took my baby with me for all my vacations. That’s just what you do as a mother.” But boarding that Sunwing jet without a baby in toe felt totally terrific.

Twenty minutes into the flight I was enjoying the complimentary champagne and looking through the duty free catalogue ready to treat myself to some new designer shades for my sun-filled sojourn.  Upon arriving at the hotel, we were greeted with trays of chilled bubbly and high-end hospitality.

After we checked in and were branded with our blue wristbands, we went up to our room where the vacation truly commenced. The Gulf view from the terrace in our oversized suite was unreal. (See picture.) That night we stuffed our faces at the most luxurious buffet ever, I mean there were literally 20 different kinds of seafood and we didn’t have to make any of it. And the chocolate fondue fountain and ice cream bar, I felt like that little girl in Willy Wonka who inflated as she ate all the candy. That night we walked around the beach, took in some island music and were back in our room in bed by 8pm, Law and Order on the TV in the background.

I was fast asleep before Jerry Orbach made his first pithy comment. Life was truly grand. When I woke up the next morning, my entire body was in the exact position as when I laid down, the remote control in the hand above my head. I looked like one of those chalk outlines from a crime scene. My mother in law, who aside from her overuse of mothballs and constant ribbing about my disinterest in cooking, is actually one of my favorite travel companions, lay in the bed next to me, snoring peacefully away. The knock at the door reminds us our complimentary room service has arrived allowing us to enjoy our coffee and eggs on our balcony overlooking the epic view.

Throw in naps on the beach, uninterrupted workouts at the gym and more naps on the beach, this was pretty much the breakdown of our weekly activities.

Oh and we did manage to fit in a few Facetime calls to my husband and son in the midst of this hectic schedule. And yes I did find some solace in seeing my husband’s heavy eyes as he coaxed our mischievous son not to eat his cell phone during our conversation. On the last day of our excellent oasis, packing up the myriad of top-notch toiletries I had collected, I couldn’t help but feel a touch of sadness. Leaving paradise would definitely be hard.

But when I saw my husband and son standing in arrivals at Pearson later that day, it felt good to be home. I held my precious baby and kissed his rosy cheeks, and was almost able to ignore the wetness I felt on my stomach as he peed on me, clutching chunks of my hair in his chubby little hand.

Here are a few tips if you’re thinking of a trip of your own:

• If you can, leave your chubby cherub with your partner and you go away with a gal pal. It’s a great chance for him/her to bond with the baby and really cuts back on any potential separation anxiety both you and baby may experience.
• Go ahead and get yourself a new outfit or dress to wear on that first night! It’s time to celebrate you, the rockstar mom, who deserves to be spoiled!
• Go some place where you don’t have to do a thing! An all-inclusive or a spa weekend, treat yourself especially that first time away from bebe. Save the sight-seeing trips and backpacking adventures for the next vacay.
• Do yourself a favor, leave your cell phone in your hotel room during the day. I get it, you want to be connected, take pictures and be available just in case there is a crisis at home, but you need to recharge and won’t be able to do that strapped to your iPhone.

– Written By Sarah DiMuro

Sarah DiMuro is a writer, actor and comedian who’s already planning her next trip to Aruba sans toddler. She’s appeared in television shows and commercials throughout North America. Sarah also used to have a blog for a lifestyle magazine in New York City where she flew all over the country on blind dates looking for her first love. The catch? She was a virgin! Well she met the love of her life and they have been together for over 10 years. A few months ago Sarah teamed up with the Toronto based organization, Rethink Breast Cancer, to create the vlog, First Baby, Then Breast Cancer, where she is chronicling her recent experience with the big C. You can check out the vlog on Rethink Breast Cancer’s YouTube channel: Rethink Breast Cancer