From Halloween to New Years: A New Mom’s Guide to Surviving the Holiday Season

11/02/2024

Now that Halloween has wrapped up, you might be looking at the mountain of candy on your counter (maybe your baby’s first trick-or-treat haul!) and realizing – wow, the holiday season is really here. Whether you’re preparing for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or the Lunar New Year, as a new mom, you’re probably feeling a mix of excitement and stress as seasonal decorations are popping up in all the department store windows. Let’s talk about what’s ahead and how to make it through the holiday season while keeping your sanity intact.

The Reality Check:
Holiday Challenges for New Moms

Those Family Dynamics Though…

Remember how family gatherings used to be simple? Now you’re juggling your baby’s schedule with Aunt Judy’s strong opinions about baby’s feeding, and somehow everyone has an opinion about your parenting choices.

You might be dealing with:

• The endless stream of well-meaning (but exhausting) parenting advice. (One mom shared that she was so overwhelmed, she wanted to order a “No Unsolicited Advice” t-shirt to wear to all family gatherings – and honestly, we’re here for it!)
• Pressure to show up at every family event, even when your little one needs their nap
• The delicate balance of splitting time between your family and your partner’s family
• Relatives who don’t understand why you can’t stay “just a little longer”
• The challenge of protecting your parenting boundaries while dreading tension that might flare up as a result of this

PARTNERSHIP UNDER PRESSURE

The combo of new parenthood and holiday stress can test even the strongest relationships:

• You and your partner might clash over whose family traditions take priority. (Both sets of grandparents lobbying for “first Christmas morning” isn’t helping!)
• The holiday to-do list seems endless, and someone ends up doing most of it
• Finding couples time? What’s that?
• Financial tensions as you balance baby expenses with holiday gifting especially if you are already on a reduced income with being off work on maternity leave.
• Disagreements about holiday travel with a little one
• Different views on how many activities and events to commit to

THE INSTAGRAM VS REALITY STRUGGLE

Let’s be real about those expectations:

• You might not feel the picture-perfect holiday joy you see on social media
• Creating “magical” moments with a baby who’s more interested in the wrapping paper than the presents
• Trying to host gatherings or travel with what feels like an entire apartment packed up (“Just bringing the basics!” you say, as you tetris-pack the car with the Pack ‘n Play, sound machine, monitor, backup sound machine, favorite swaddle, backup swaddle…)
• Feeling guilty when you can’t maintain all your pre-baby holiday traditions and the emotional weight of choosing between your childhood traditions and creating new ones for your own family
• The exhaustion of trying to “do it all” during the most wonderful (and busy) time of the year

BODY IMAGE BLUES

• The holiday season can be especially tough when you’re still adjusting to your postpartum body:
• Those festive outfits from last year might not fit you as you expected
• Family photos and holiday parties might bring up unexpected feelings
• Social media’s “bounce back” pressure feels especially intense
• Well-meaning relatives commenting on your appearance
• Feeling out of place in your own skin during special occasions
• The mental load of dressing for comfort and practicality while still wanting to feel festive

Making It Work: Your Holiday Survival Guide

SETTING BOUNDARIES WITH STYLE

1. The Art of Saying No– “We’d love to come, but we’ll need to leave by 7PM for bedtime”
   – “That’s such a kind offer! We’re keeping things simple this year”
   – “We’re starting our own little tradition this year, but we’d love to FaceTime”
2. Creating Your Sanctuary
   – Designate quiet spaces in your home for nursing or baby breaks
   – Keep a “go bag” ready for quick exits from overwhelming situations
   – Have prepared responses for common triggers (“We’re following our pediatrician’s recommendations“)

PRACTICAL TIPS FOR RIGHT NOW

Simplify Everything

• Order gifts online with gift-wrapping options
• Consider local meal prep services for holiday dinners
• Use paper plates for some meals (seriously, it’s okay!)
• Break down holiday prep into 15-minute tasks

Baby-First Planning

• Schedule events around nap times when possible
• Bring a pack-n-play to family gatherings
• Keep a consistent bedtime routine, even during holidays
• Pack extra everything (outfits, diapers, wipes)

Partner Communication

• Have weekly check-ins about holiday plans
• Divide and conquer holiday tasks
• Schedule intentional couple time, even if it’s just 30 minutes per week
• Be explicit about needs and expectations

SELF-CARE ISN’T SELFISH

1. Quick Wellness Wins
   – Five-minute meditation while the baby naps
   – Hydrate with festive water (add cranberries and mint!)
   – Wear comfortable clothes that make you feel good
   – Take breaks during family gatherings
2. Mental Health Check-Ins
   – Notice your triggers and early warning signs of stress
   – If you’re anticipating stress, consider scheduling a therapy session to talk things through and process your thoughts ahead of time
   – Join online mom groups for holiday survival tips
   – Practice gratitude for small moments

CONSIDER GETTING SUPPORT

Whether it’s therapy, a mom group, or regular coffee dates with friends who get it, having support is crucial.

A good therapist can help you:

• Develop strategies for handling overwhelming family situations
• Work through relationship stress
• Set realistic expectations for the season
• Address any postpartum mental health concerns
• Navigate the emotional complexities of your first holiday season as a mom
• Create coping strategies for specific holiday challenges

LOOKING AHEAD: THE GIFT OF SELF COMPASSION

Remember that this holiday season is just one of many to come. Your baby won’t remember if the decorations were perfect or if you made it to every party. What matters is creating a peaceful, loving environment – even if that means scaling back, saying no, or doing things differently than you imagined.

YOUR NEW NORMAL

• Accept that some traditions might need to pause or change
• Focus on creating simple, baby-friendly moments
• Give yourself permission to start new traditions that work for YOUR family
• Remember that “good enough” is perfect for this season of life
• Trust your instincts about what your family needs right now

Being gentle with yourself isn’t just nice – it’s necessary. When you start feeling overwhelmed by all the “shoulds” of the season, pause and remind yourself that you’re doing something incredible: navigating an entirely new identity while keeping a tiny human alive and happy. That’s more than enough.

Need Some Extra Support? We’re Here for You.

At Toronto Therapy Practice, we understand that becoming a parent can be exciting, overwhelming, and everything in between. It’s a big adjustment for everyone involved, and it’s okay if you need someone to talk to. Whether you’re navigating the mental load of motherhood, holiday stress, managing sleepless nights, or finding your way as a couple in this new chapter, we’re here to help.

We know finding time for therapy with a little one isn’t easy, so we’ve made it super flexible. You can meet with us from your couch while the baby naps, after bedtime, or whenever fits your schedule. We also support partners and offer couples therapy—because everyone deserves space to process and grow during this transition.

Our therapists bring extensive experience and are passionate about helping new parents find balance, joy, and connection—even when life feels chaotic. Whether you’re feeling a bit off, overwhelmed, or just want someone to listen, we’re here for you every step of the way.

There’s no judgment—just support when you need it most. Book a free consultation or send us a note if your preferred time isn’t available—we’ll do our best to make it work. And if you’d like to refer a friend or a family member, we currently have a promotion where both of you receive a discount: Refer a friend.

Remember: “I am doing enough. I am being enough. This season is about connection, not perfection.”

Enjoy this time with gentleness and grace. We’re here whenever you need a little extra support. Happy Holidays!

Written by: Mila Arsenijevic, MSW RSW, Founder and Clinical Director, Registered Social Worked and Psychotherapist.

Mila is the heart and soul of Toronto Therapy Practice. As the founder, her warm and empathetic approach creates an inviting atmosphere that fosters trust and connection. With a decade of experience in perinatal mental health at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, Mila is passionate about helping individuals and couples overcome emotional distress and lead authentic, meaningful lives.