Expectations of our Children during Communication

09/25/2013

Communication. They, those researchers, say it is the backbone of any organization any relationship. Whether we like it or not it really makes our day, one of greatness or complete and utter chaos.  Everywhere you turn there is communication happening. And I am not even talking about our latest invention, the smart phone. I am just talking about the things we need to do in our lives that require a bit of communication, like asking where the bathroom is, or what time is breakfast. Simple you would think but if given the wrong information could lead to disaster. Precisely, communication is even in our little entities of our lives, without it we would be a bunch of untamed beasts. In fact is this what separates us from those untamed beast, the ability to think and communicate on such a high level? Yet here we find ourselves often struggling with that very thing.  Or at least I am assuming you struggle. And if you don’t please share your secrets with us!

It seems in this world of high speed and instant messages we are getting further from the actual true sharing of information on that personal level. Now don’t get me wrong! I love instant information, it was fantastic to look up in mere seconds, for my son, whether a avocado was a fruit or vegetable. Or find out that my brother, who has lived in Japan for two years, wanted to chat that morning on Skype. No it has been amazing in opening our world that much more. Making even my choice to stay home with my children that much easier because I could have a business like this all while in the comfort of my home.  But what I am talking about is the communication that continues to fail in families and organizations because we fail to sit down and connect. I don’t care if you say I don’t need that human connection I’ve got face book! Well sorry to bust your break from reality bubble.  Face book is not reality. And even comments on a picture or in a blog are not going to give you that personal connection we all need.  When I say this, it’s not that we all need to sit around hugging, snuggling and sharing our lives secrets. Just that we need that human connection, just even to sit in the presence of others.  That bonding, hearing intonations, facial expressions and body language this is all part of our communication. We need this. Especially to get the whole story!

Aren’t there times when you read a face book message and you wonder, what are they really trying to say? Or look at a picture on face book and think man they are such a happy family, which is exactly what we all want people to perceive of us. Which is fine because sometimes you do have to “Fake it Before you Make It!”

The problem here lies in what type of reality we are building in our minds. To think that all these people are doing is having fun, that their children are perfect, they are perfect, or their lives are perfect. This is just setting you up for your own personal disappointment.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that we need to learn how to think for ourselves. Go back to the old days of having a real conversation. Or at least think about how you would like your children to communicate with you in ten years. Set up that model now. Cause who wants their kids to sit and type on a computer screen and not make eye contact? Who wants their kids to turn to their said “friends” on the internet before they turn to you for love and guidance? I know I don’t want my children creating some false reality in their minds because of social media land.

Probably none of us do! So make that concise decision to communicate in the “old” fashion way. Talk, look at each other, use body language and tone. You are their teacher show them what you expect.

Hey in fact show everyone what you expect in a conversation.

To start I expect eye contact, honesty and facial expression. What do you expect?