Another 23 weeks seems like ages still, but it’s not. It seems it’s not that much time to spend with my daughter before we become a family of four. I feel almost more unprepared for this baby, then I did with our daughter.There are the usual plans, rooms, equipment that need to be put together, but it’s the wrapping my head around it part, that is taking me the longest.
I have so many worries about being a second time mom. I worry if it’s possible to have so much extra love. Can I really be so lucky to have THREE best things in the world happen to me? (My husband is included in that). I see so many second time, third time etc moms and know it’s possible, it’s just so hard to imagine.
I worry about my daughter not getting the attention she needs, because I’m fussing over our new baby. Will she be jealous? Is it possible she could feel less loved or cared for? I need to make sure I make the time for just her and me too.
Same goes for the other way. Will our new baby not get the attention he or she needs because I’m chasing after a busy toddler? I don’t want to miss his/her first roll, word or step because I’m distracted. Can I promise this baby the same one on one time?
I worry about loosing myself in motherhood. Will I put myself on the back burner to much to make sure I am being a great mom for my children?I already find it hard with one child to make time for myself, even though I realize it makes me a better mom feeling good about myself.
I worry about worrying.Are the attending the best schools? Are they developing skills? Do they make good choices? Are they happy? Are the safe? I wish myself the ability to not worry so much about them and just let them grow. It’s enough to make your head spin.
In all this worry, what keeps me going is being baby number two in a family of four children. My mom never made me feel loved less or more then my siblings. I always felt there was time made for me. I never felt like “Baby #2”. Thanks for that Mom. You are truly amazing.
So I will try to worry less, or think about worrying less and just try to enjoy. Especially these next 23 weeks with my daughter and husband, as a family of three.
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Hi there
I completely understand and know where you are coming from 🙁 my husband and I have our first boy who will be seven months tomorrow 🙂 we have always wanted a big family. Unfortunately before my son was born we had three miscarriages. Then we had my son and encountered so many problems. I was on bed rest my entire pregnancy, had placenta previa and my son was born ten weeks early 🙁 when he was 4 months I became pregnsnt again which sadly ended in miscarriage again. Since this time I have been seeing a fertility specialist. It has been discovered that my fsh level is very low and I am producing under developed eggs 🙁 I start my fertility medication tomorrow. When I am ovulating the first week of dec I will be doing my first procedure of IUI. This makes us very happy but then it brings me to your very same concern…we have been told our chance of multiples is extremely high. Do I have enough love to share between my son who we adore and the new additions coming into our life at some point?? It scared me but in my heart I believe that god only deals out what we can handle. God would not bless you or I with another little angel without knowing they were going into the utmost care. Once your second child is born you will love them just as much as your first and believe me they wi fall into their place into your family 🙂 you will find that each child gets your love in different special ways throughout the day 🙂 I hope this makes you feel better! Stay positive and take care 🙂
Thank you for your kind words. Great to hear someone so positive through as much as you have been. Good luck to you and your family.
Oh gosh, this sounds familiar. I had so many of the same worries when we were waiting for baby #2. I secretly worried that I would always love my first baby more because I just couldn’t imagine loving anybody else that much. Don’t worry. You’ll find that you don’t have to divide the love between your two babies, but rather, your heart will grow and you’ll have twice as much love to give.
I can relate to your worry about not being able to spend as much one-on-one time with each child. I feel guilty when I think about the lovely experiences I had with my first that just aren’t possible with my second. I try to remind myself that while the boys will have to share my attention sometimes, they will have a playmate and hopefully a friend forever by way of compensation.
You’re going to do great, Jen. Happy 17 weeks!
Thanks Lori!