Pregnancy: The Glamour of It All

11/06/2014

“She’s glowing.” “She’s absolutely radiant.”

It’s time someone said it: yes pregnancy is beautiful, magical and awesome, but it can also be full of some pretty unglamorous surprises. Most days you will feel anything but “radiant.” At least I do.

Here’s a list of some of my favourite unglamorous moments from my second and current pregnancy.

You know you’re pregnant when . . .

1. Brushing your teeth becomes like playing Russian Roulette. Brush. Gag. Brush. Vomit. Sigh . . .

2. You need to start wearing maternity clothing at 2 months because you’re so bloated. Hello food baby!

3. You find yourself craving some pretty strange foods. Chocolate and ice cream? Try pomegranate and kimchi.

4. You begin having vivid dreams, some a bit too sexy to discuss here and others where you are fighting zombies. Seriously.

5. Your bra becomes more of a nuisance than a help and you give up on wearing one altogether.

6. You have to ask yourself: is that baby moving or just gas?

7. The very foods and smells you love the most make you gag – coffee, yes coffee.

8. Even fresh air on a beautiful fall day may start a serious bout of nausea.

9. The very thought of gagging makes you gag.

10. You find yourself crying at the end of every Disney movie.

11. You begin relying heavily on a few staple items in your wardrobe: old man sweaters, leggings and oversized flannel shirts. Oh the glamour.

12. You become plain Jane as your body begins to react to your favourite jewelry. Bye bye wedding rings.

If we can’t laugh at ourselves in pregnancy, who can?

Did I miss anything?

~chelsey