Review of Leduc Mommy Connections~The Simple Musings of an Alberta Oilfield Wife

08/02/2012

Mommy Connections – A Review

In a day where people move cities fairly frequently due to changing jobs, family, etc, the need to be able to connect with your community is vital.  You learn and discover that the definition of family can change.  When I had my first child I had family very close by (I was living with them) to help me with things and lessen the stress.  With my second child we had moved and I was not as lucky with the family being so close and readily available.  Instead I found was myself in a new community, with a husband who travelled frequently, and no place to go and meet new moms or really get out of the house.  The ones that were available were available for first time moms only and so I was excluded.  It made for a very lonely maternity leave.  Add to that a baby who cried and screamed for months on end and it was no surprise that I ended up with Post Partum Depression (PPD).

When I became pregnant with my third child I wanted to be prepared.  I had gone through PPD twice and was determined to skip it with baby #3.  I ended up seeing a psychologist who specialized in PPD when I was about 6 months pregnant and she helped me put together my “PPD Care Plan”.  Part of my homework for this was to research organizations in my community that would help me get out of the house.  It was in this research that I discovered Leduc Mommy Connections. One of my “goals” was to register for a session.  Which was easier said than done when the Baby Blues just never seemed to fully go away.  PPD makes one become self isolating and I knew from past experience that part of getting better is breaking through that shell.

I was hesitant to register.  I had a lot of “self-issues” to get through.  My second child has special needs and my husband and I have faced a lot of judgement over the years because of it. I was scared of putting myself into another situation where I could be judged by those around me.  I also follow a more of an “Attachment Parent Philosophy” with my children and knew that there was a good chance that I would be one of the only ones who co-slept etc. I knew I would also most likely be the only one who was looking forward to returning to work. Then add to that attending a different Mommy Group in another community in which I left in tears because of the judgement I got for not breastfeeding. Literally women ripping their tops down and loudly stating “Do you want to NURSE?” to their babies/toddlers while looking me directly in the eye with disgust while I fed my baby from a bottle.  There is a medical reason for me not breastfeeding.  My cancer suppression medication does not allow it, but I don’t think I should have to justify my reasons for formula feeding to every breastfeeding mother I meet.

Then one day after two weeks of crying my eyes out daily I knew I had to jump into another mommy group, fears and all.  So after a few deep breaths I registered for Leduc Mommy Connections. I told myself that it was only $80 and if I did not like the first week I would not have to go back.

I showed up the first week baby in arms to meet the group of women I would be sharing the next few weeks with.  Well I made it past the first class.

Sheryl was the organizer for the group.  She has a background in Recreational Therapy and it showed. There were women there who had one child and women who had more than one child.  So you have a nice mix.  Even seasoned parents can learn from the new parents.  The nicest thing though is that I felt absolutely no judgement.  Not on the fact that I rarely carry my child in a carseat.  Not for the fact that I was the only bottle feeding mama there.  Instead I felt acceptance in a non-judgement environment. Needless to say I happily looked forward to returning each week.

And in it developed the old antage that is “takes a village to raise a child”. The seasoned moms supported the first time moms as they cried because of massive sleep deprivation.  The first time moms realized they were doing nothing wrong when their babies cried for hours at a time. The seasoned moms even learned a few things too.  Many things change between each time you have a baby. The new moms teach/show you the latest and greatest things that you would have almost killed for with your first (or subsequent) baby if they had been around!  People shared ideas. What was working for them.  What was not working for them.  What they wished for most of all (usually sleep!).

Each week had two presenters who had been carefully chosen by Sheryl to help us learn and grow as mothers. They came in and helped us learn to connect with our babies through signing, infant massage, reading, and baby wearing.  Other presenters came in an gently reminded us the need to look after ourselves too.  To make sure that our family is probably looked after and protected with wills, RESPs etc. There were also presenters that showed us how to connect to different community organizations that could help them if they were struggling with their parenting skills. Parenting skills are not innate, they are learned and there are people out there to support you in this learning process.  Another presenter gave information on choosing a childcare provider for your child.  Which I know from personal experience is one of the hardest things to do as a parent.

Honestly, this is just the tip of the iceberg. We learned A LOT!  Most importantly we all seemed to have fun doing it. No judgement.  Just a nice break from the world for a couple of hours once a week.  A safe place where moms could share the joys and triumphs as well as the frustrating and sometimes tearful downs of babyhood.

Bravo Sheryl for being able to provide such a fostering environment!

And for all the wonderful women I met.  Thank-you for feeling comfortable in sharing the time and personal experiences we did together. You are all amazing parents and your children are all so lucky to have mothers that love them as much as you all so obviously do.

For those of you looking for a mommy group I would highly recommend Mommy Connections . They have groups in a number of different communities across Canada and even in the United States.

If you would like to read more blogs by Kimberley.