5 Aha Moments That Saved My – Momma Blogger Feature

02/24/2017

Dangerously close to turning 30, I am a stay at home mom to 3 angelic children (HA!)…Colin (7), Molly (4) & Quinn (8 months).  My incredibly hardworking husband Nick and I have been together nearly a decade & have called Alberta home since 2008.  I am passionate about my family, volunteering, fundraising/charity work, and truly enjoy putting my heart into the community.  A huge part of MY community is a circle of 3000+ women in the Facebook group, Leduc Mamas, which I founded 7 years ago as an insecure, lonely, brand new mom.   I’m a pop culture nut, and love to cook.  I would like to call myself a Pinterest guru, but I have more failures than successes…trying is worth something though, right? Old man winter and I don’t get along, but I love to be outdoors when it doesn’t make my face hurt.  I’m always looking to explore more of what Alberta has to offer and can’t wait to continue building our crazy little life here in Leduc!  

5 Aha Moments That Saved My Sanity

By Katie Presse

Close your eyes.  Imagine you are at the circus.  Questionable characters jumping around, the faint smell of elephant poop in the air, the audience expecting a great show.  Oddly enough, this is pretty comparable to my day to day life.  Three loud little monkeys, a ring master on the verge of a nervous breakdown (that’s me!), and the smells…oh God, the smells. Not to mention the pressure from society and the judgement from my audience full of peers. Regardless, I love my life as a stay at home mom and really do feel blessed. Our routine is our savior, and most days go smoothly enough that I don’t feel the need to drink heavily (just the WANT to drink heavily). Every moment of parenthood is a learning process, and more often than not I feel overwhelmed, but every once in awhile I have an aha moment that changes everything.

5. Acknowledge that your kids aren’t perfect

My kids are beautiful, smart, funny, polite, and definitely know the difference between right and wrong.  That being the case, they couldn’t possibly ever be the cause of trouble right? Wrong. I will never forget the first time my son got in “trouble” at school. I felt sick about it.  Like I had failed him, his teacher, the entire administrative staff.  How could my sweet boy have done this?!  I needed to know the context…every detail of the incident.  I refused to believe it, and it ate me alive. I don’t know how it happened and have absolutely no advice as far as getting to this point, but somewhere along the road I realized that my kids can be in the wrong. It doesn’t mean I have failed, and it certainly doesn’t mean they are bad.  They are growing into their own people, and I hope that they are full of imperfection.  Letting go of the impossible standard I had set in my head for them has been a relief.  Honestly, it is much easier to laugh about it and hope they come out on top next time.

4. You don’t need to keep up with The Joneses.

This one is hard.  It also took me a really long time to really get it, and I still struggle.  Today’s society is so set on doing it all & having it all.  The name brands, the must have toys of the season, being enrolled in every sport & activity humanly possible. IT ISN’T WORTH IT.  I want to give my children the world just as much as the next guy, but I am not willing to lose sleep over the things we cannot do.  The aha moment didn’t come with not doing it, it came with being okay with not doing it. I wasted so much time and energy dealing with the guilt of not being able to financially provide the things that the world makes us feel we need. It made me a grouchy, stressed out, guilt ridden Mommy.  Letting go has made us stronger, and I am happier because of it.

3. You aren’t a bad mom. Ever.

Hot dogs for dinner the third night in a row? Awesome. Don’t floss the kid’s teeth twice a day? Screw it. Yesterday’s dishes are still in the sink? You are killing it. This one is pretty simple, but arguably the most important.  What works for one doesn’t work for another.  I may not raise my children and take care of my home the way you do it, but that doesn’t mean one of us is wrong or bad.  If your kids are safe, comfortable and loved – you’re golden, mama! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Aha – it may not be perfect, but you are still doing it right.

2. It’s okay if you aren’t always okay.

Up until very recently I felt like I had to put on a happy face no matter what.  I didn’t share my anxiety, fears, stress, sadness, or anger with anyone. Why is expressing emotion considered a weakness? Am I less of a mom because I feel? It isn’t always fun. I don’t wake up every morning smiling.  Making the decision to be open and honest with my emotions has been really difficult.  I don’t like asking for help or seeming weak. But, you know what is more important to me than appearing strong and happy? My kids. A friend of mine recently shared some sort of inspirational meme on Facebook that rang so true – “You can’t pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first”. Running yourself into the ground emotionally just so you can appear to have your poop in a group isn’t doing anyone any favors, especially yourself.  Your emotional well being is the backbone of your family.

1. Say “No” when you want to say “No”

This was my 2015 New Years resolution. Maybe it’s just me, but I always feel like I owe everyone an explanation.  I felt myself constantly making up excuses, even lies, just to get out of doing things that I didn’t want to do for myself or my kids.  Realizing that I don’t owe anyone has been life changing. For me, having enough confidence in the choices we make as a family to say “NO” without explanation or justification has been hugely empowering.  Trust yourself and your choices. Aha!
If you are a fellow Leduc Mama and interested in a Facebook group that is great for support, advice and some laughs, you can check out Katie’s Leduc Mamas Facebook page here!