Confessions of a Breastfeeding Mama ~ Momma Blogger Feature

03/03/2017

Amy 

I am 28 years old and a first time mom to a baby girl who will be a year at the end of April. Where has the time gone? I will have been married for 3 years in the summer. My husbands put up with my crazy ideas for over 10 years though. I am also a crazy dog lover and have 2 fur babies. One is a rescued black lab heeler and the other is a dachshund. They are the goofiest pair of friends. I am passionate about my family, friends, being outdoors, fun adventures and teaching and inspiring children. I will be returning to work at the beginning of April and will be teaching grade 2 just to add another thing to my crazy life. 

Since this is our first baby, we have found that we have made some mistakes but we have learned even more. My newest challenge will be balancing work, being a mother, and a wife. I hope to inspire and help other moms by sharing my relatable stories.

Confessions of a Breastfeeding Mama

By Amy Holland

Breastfeed your baby they say. It will be easy they say.

I knew that as soon as I got pregnant I wanted to breastfeed our daughter but I never expected that I would struggle with it. And by struggle I mean, being hooked up to a machine that makes me feel like I’m being milked like a cow, wearing nipple shields, supplementing formula with bottles and constantly worrying if I was doing the right thing. There is such a great pressure put upon moms to breastfeed. I definitely knew all the benefits but then it was up to my body to do the work.

I always dreamed that after my daughter was born that we would have this “magical” experience where she would immediately latch. That didn’t happen! I put so much pressure on myself to be “that mom” that would exclusively nurse her baby. I ended up having to give her formula at the beginning and I had a lot of guilt about this. I came to the conclusion that she was unable to fully latch and I didn’t have milk pumped so formula it had to be.  I had to let go of the guilt I had been holding onto and just know that my baby was being FED. Whether it was breast milk or formula, she was being FED and that was the most important thing. Our routine was quickly established at the beginning: attempt to have her latch or back to the nipple shield, feed, pump, wash bottles, sanitize and repeat all day, as well as, me eating lots of healthy foods and drinking bathtub sized bottles of water. Ask any of my family members and they’ll tell you how I had water bottles everywhere I went and in every room of the house. This became exhausting and I longed for the day that baby A would be able to breastfeed without needing bottles or the nipple shield. Anybody that has used a nipple shield knows how much of a pain in the butt they are. They are difficult to put on, constantly fall off, and need to be washed after each use.  I have a whole lot of respect for people who exclusively pump or formula feed their babies because it is truly a lot of work. You’re all amazing mamas!

I saw several different lactation consultants and used the Medela supplementary nursing systems. I saw a consultant the day after she was born so I could try to get her to latch. No luck! I saw another one at the Breastfeeding clinic, we had better luck with her. She helped baby A latch with the shield and then the last one I saw was in Sherwood Park. I loved this place because they weigh your baby before you nurse them and after you finish so you know how much milk they’re getting. Because lets be real, you really never know how much milk breastfed babies are getting. There were so many times that I wanted to give up. Somehow I kept going because I wanted to feel successful and wanted my daughter to have this experience as well.

I remember the day that my daughter finally was able to latch on using the nipple shield, it felt like our hard work was paying off. It took her 3 months to wean off of the shield. We’ve been continuing our breastfeeding journey for 10 months. This is such a great accomplishment for us! There is nothing greater than that bond between mother and baby while you’re nursing. I am going to be going back to work in April and the thought of not being able to nurse throughout the day makes me sad but I’m proud that we’ve made it as long as we have.

I always thought I was shy breastfeeding in front of other people until the L&D nurses, PP nurses, and a bunch of lactation consultants all saw my boobs. Well, I guess I’m not so shy anymore!  All my pride is gone! HA!! I know you other mamas can relate to this!

The moral of my story is that if you want to nurse your baby, don’t give up! Get help from anybody and everybody and don’t take no for an answer. If you struggle with breastfeeding and you have to formula feed your baby, you are doing something amazing for YOUR baby too because they are FED!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog. I hope that you enjoyed it!