Second Pregnancy Thoughts/Concerns From Me

04/19/2017

Well, well, well… I figure I have gone long enough without writing up my own personal blog post for all of you to read – I did take over Mommy Connections Leduc/Beaumont back in November after all! I am your friendly neighbourhood Mommy Connections director and am going to take this time to get something off my chest that has been pressing for some time.

I have briefly mentioned in a few posts that I am expecting my second child at the end of April. And yes, it is now close to the end of April which means it is fast approaching. I am having my little guy next Wednesday to be precise. I had an emergency C-section with my daughter and opted to have a scheduled one for this pregnancy. This in itself has brought mixed emotions for me.

A little fact about myself: I am a planner. Meaning that I have multiple calendars that I physically write everything down on, as well as utilizing my phone’s calendar to jot down the smallest reminder/appointment. Right now, with being pregnant, this also allows me not to forget EVERYTHING, but I do continue the same practice when not pregnant. I am the planner/organizer for our family and my husband has learned not to plan anything without consulting me first 😉 SO, with knowing exactly which day I would be having my child put me a little more at ease with becoming a mother of two (because it honestly scared me to make that big change!). I now could organize with my parents what days they would need to take off of work to be with our daughter since I will be in the hospital for a few days post-birth. I was also able to plan my Mommy Connections classes that I facilitate accordingly to conveniently end just a few days before my scheduled C-section! My husband was also able to ensure that his vacation days were booked and he wouldn’t be leaving on an out of country job for a few weeks.

On the flip side, there is now no element of surprise for me… and I LOVE surprises! We now know: the gender of the baby, the date that he will arrive (unless he chooses to come early) AND his full name – again going back to me being a planner and wanting to have his name ready. As of Monday, after a pre-admission clinic I have to attend, I will also know an estimated time that the baby will be born! Now that the date is getting closer, it is bringing up some feelings that I really didn’t think I would have.

I have always wanted a large family. I am an only child to parents who are a little older than most of my friends, so I knew growing up that I wanted to have a large-ish family. Now, back in the day, I used to say I wanted EIGHT kids… crazy I know! I would never want 8 kids now, but props to those mamas who do have large families – you are killing it! I knew that I wouldn’t want to stop at just one child. With that being said, these last couple weeks as a family of 3 have made me very anxious to welcome another child. I have NO doubts that I will love my children the same, but I continually worry that my daughter will feel slightly neglected. I don’t want her to think that mama doesn’t love her as much, or want to spend as much time with her as I previously did. I know that it will be an adjustment in the beginning, but I just hope that my sweet little girl will adjust easily.

She has never been a cuddly child – except for the very early days when she couldn’t yet hold her head up 😉 Once she was able to, she wanted nothing to do with my shoulder (which broke my mama heart!). She has done a complete 180 in these last two months (likely due to the impending change) and I cannot leave her sight for more than 5 minutes anymore. Some days it gets to the point that I need a little breathing room, but then I sit back and think that soon enough she will need to share my attention with her little brother. So instead of pushing her aside, I sit down and take her into my arms and snuggle for as long as she wants. I am so worried that my heart will not be able to love her and her brother with the same intensity and attention she has gotten for the last 2.5 years. I know that I am not alone in this thinking and that others have felt the same way.

In writing this blog post and if you are reading this and feel the same, just know that you are not alone and others have felt the same. It is an adjustment in more ways than one going from a family of 3 to a family of 4, but everything will be okay! It will all work itself out with a few bumps along the way. Thanks for reading this and letting me get some things off my chest! 😊

Amber xoxo