Water Mama

05/06/2018

People say that when you become a mom, you may lose part of yourself. It certainly shakes up the version of who you thought you were. Priorities shift. What excitement is; changes. Fear can feel more real than ever before. But slowly and surely, we find our way back to what it is we love about ourselves. And have a chance to scrap those other parts, because really, there is no time for it.

Swimming has been a constant in my life since I was a child. I spent years with pruned fingers in the pool. Practicing Synchronized swimming figures and routines, swimming countless laps, diving, water polo, and just enjoying the water, it is so much a part of my life. If it involves water, I have tried it. I love it. I live it.

I swam my way through puberty, and awkward body moments. I swam through self-conscious teenage years, where I would wonder what my body looked like next to someone else. I swam after terrible mistakes, and before great triumphs. Planned group presentations, mourned lost loved ones, nursed hangovers and broken hearts. All while pulling my way through water. I remember different pools across Canada I competed in, what the water felt like as clearly as if it were yesterday. I was never the best, but I always felt my best while swimming.

When I learned of the opportunity to birth in water, it seemed just obvious that this would be the best way for me. So into the water I went. And then came my daughter. The water and its safety melted all my fears away.

Some of my favourite moments as a parent have been by a poolside. From watching my son at his swimming lessons, swimming as a family, each of my children’s first swims. Taking time for myself to go swim off the stress of the day, or using my flippers to kick away the hip pain that came with pregnancy number three, the water brought me peace.

I asked Kristi, of Kristi Chapman Photography, to take my maternity shots in water, and without hesitation, she agreed. She has been exploring underwater photography, and her comfort and skills were evident as we swam together. Totally comfortable, two moms swimming, we captured my growing baby in utero swimming with me. I am so glad I reached out.

As I prepare for labour, I take with me what I have learned in my years swimming to keep things calm. I cannot predict what and when, but I do know the familiarity of water will part of the journey in some way. Our plan is to have our third baby in water again, at the Birth and Wellness Centre.

In water, I have felt glamorous in sequence at a synchronized swimming performance, speedy while waiting on the block for the gun to go off at a National Swim Competition, and sharp as I plan presentations with a clear and creative mind. All different circumstances, but all strong and capable, and absent temporarily of any self-doubt. This is what I will carry with me as I work through contractions and trust my body to do as it will. It has taken me through so much, so in it and the water I will trust.