Stop The Mom Body Shaming – Mommy Blogger

10/01/2018

My name is Jenna. I’m married with 2 kids and 2 dogs. Living the simple life in a small town just outside of Regina. My family and I love to spend as much time as possible camping, hiking and exploring in the mountains.

Oh my god you don’t even look like you had a baby!

Wow, you bounced right back!

You got your body back, you’re so lucky!

How did you get your body back to normal?

Wow you lost that baby weight fast, what’s your secret?

Are you doing beach body or something?

It must be nice to lose the baby weight so fast.

THESE QUESTIONS NEED TO END.

Hey all, I’m going to shine a little light for the small/skinny/fit moms who have to deal with comments like these. First of all, we all need to stop commenting on peoples bodies. Whether they are skinny/fit or not. It is not appropriate to comment on someone’s body size, EVER!

I am a skinny-ish/fit mom, but I don’t have “my body back”. I say that because well, my body didn’t f*cking go anywhere. But it has transformed. It has grown two healthy full term babies and it isn’t close to what it was; but instead it’s so much more. Literally, more capable of anything I could ever imagine, more skin, more sag, more wrinkles, more transforming, more magic.

I can go on and on and on about how inappropriate these comments to any woman are, but let me tell you the psychological damage it’s done to me, personally.

It gives me anxiety. The idea of taking my kids to a pool and wearing a bikini makes me nauseous. I’m always getting commented on being small, I’ve been small my ENTIRE life, but it also makes me feel insecure and ashamed. You’re probably reading this thinking “omg how she can possibly feel ashamed for being small is stupid! She should be grateful”, well let me tell you:

I can’t count the glares I’ve gotten at public pools and the beach while simply having fun with my family…let that sink in…with my family! I can’t tell you how I feel like “less of a mother” because I didn’t gain my “tiger stripes” and “look like I’ve had a kid”. And what kind of role model are you being for my daughter as she sees you glare directly at me? Or commenting about my physical appearance in front of her? How do I explain when I was about 5 months post-partum I had plans with some other moms to take our babies to the pool and I almost had a panic attack because I didn’t have a one piece bathing suit. I had flash backs of what it was like with my son at public pools for swimming lessons and I couldn’t handle the glares from other moms because, well, I’m small. No matter how friendly and kind I was, I still got the glares. I used the excuse that he hated the water so we quit lessons, when really, I just couldn’t bring myself to go back.

You might be reading this thinking that I have a self-confidence issue, and maybe I do. Maybe all of the times I’ve been glared at and whispered about and bullied by other moms has triggered something. Or maybe, I’m just sick of not living up to all of the different standards there are from other moms. I am just me. And I am small.

Being compared to other women by other women is a nightmare and all that’s wrong in the mothering world.

And lastly, how you do know how I feel about my body and what gives you the right to comment on it? You don’t see my breasts that sag 4 inches more than they should because I was so engorged with milk. Or my saggy belly button that literally hangs down and I try to hide it with high wasted clothes and a belly ring. You weren’t there when I dedicated myself to mommy and me baby work out classes and pushed myself physically and emotionally.

You don’t go around saying “wow, you’re still carrying around that baby weight”. But if you do, you’re a sh*tty human and I hope someone throat chops you.

So if we could please stop commenting on the sizes and shapes of women’s bodies like that somehow defines us and our identity as a mother… THAT WOULD BE GREAT!