The Million Dollar Myth – Mommy Blogger

10/17/2018

Mommy Blogger Laura

It’s a phrase we’ve all heard before: “A boy and a girl, how lucky!”

If there’s one thing that we can agree on on the journey to and through parenthood, it’s that family is priceless. But if you’re included in the statistic of 1 in 4 women who experience a pregnancy loss, the “million dollar family” phrase hits a little harder.

My journey to parenthood included months of uncertainty, dozens of tests, three devastating miscarriages, and a lifetime of heartache. I know others whose journeys included countless consultations, hundreds of needles, and thousands of dollars— along with the heartbreak of losing a precious baby. No road to parenthood is easy— but how can anyone say your resulting family is worth more or less than the next? You can bet we all believe our families are worth a million dollars, whether that means one or two or seven kids, of our genes or not, boys or girls, red-, brown- or purple-haired. So can we please put an end to this shit about the “million dollar family?”

October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. So, to all the mamas out there with hurting hearts, with children in heaven or on earth— your family, however you define it, is priceless. This is for you:

I was in the store with kids in tow

When I heard her loud remark.

“A boy and a girl, what perfect luck! You know that’s worth a million bucks.”

She cooed and waved towards my babe;

Her words were innocent enough.

To her, they meant not much at all

As she tossed them off the cuff.

I weakly smiled and trudged away

but inside my head was reeling.

Her naked eye could not see through

To the emotions I was feeling.

One boy, one girl was all she saw;

I’d been dealt a perfect score.

But the true grade of my life thus far

Was the mark of 1 in 4.

My babies that I had with me

are just two of my five.

I never got to hold the three

who were not born alive.

These three I hold tight in my heart;

My tiny angel babes.

They live within my dreams at night;

I still ache to know their names.

I count my lucky stars each day

That I have the kids I do.

I kiss them more and hold them closer

Than they’d probably like me to.

But the three I lost, I wish were here;

Oh, what I’d pay to have that bliss.

So this ‘million dollar family’ thing

Is really nothing but a myth

Cuz those of us who’ve lost a babe

Would give up our last dimes

To see our babes and say their names

And hold them for all time.

So be mindful of the things you say;

I pray you, hold your tongue.

Although our hearts and hands be full,

we still hold our missing little ones.