When to Seek Support as a Mother – Guest Blogger

12/02/2019

Kayla Huszar, Kayla Huszar Expressive Art

It can be hard to know when you need to call in reinforcements or ask for help as a mom.
In today’s modern society moms are told to power through (either from themselves or from someone else). “Powering through” can have lasting effects. I’ve talked to 100’s of moms and the messages are the same:
I really thought I could do it all
I need to do all the things because I’m the one who’s home
But my partner works, why would I get him up.
I’m breastfeeding, so what could someone else do?

The other things I’ve heard from many women is when they finally decide to outsource and they tell someone, the response can be “well I did it without a house cleaner.” Which would make any mom feel like dirt for “not being able to do it all.”

The result of not asking for help or outsourcing is complete burnout, stress, overwhelmed and depression.

Here are some of the tell tale signs you may need to seek some therapeutic services…
When you can’t possibly manage one more task.
When you start yelling at your family.
When you become indifferent to those around you.
When you feel resentful.
When you can no longer find the lighter or funny side of things.
When your self talk is really negative and possibly even harsh or mean.
When nothing you’ve already done seems to help (yoga, alone time, journalling, talking with friends, etc).
When your friends and family are “tired” of listening to you.
When you start overusing something (or someone) to try and alleviate the stress and overwhelm.
When people have asked if you’re ok, or asked if you need to talk to someone.

Do you find yourself in any of those statements? It might be time to seek some therapy. Mama, you don’t have to go it alone.
If after reading this you are considering therapy, you may be thinking about the possible downsides. Expense while on MAT leave (not all that convenient), time (who would or could watch the baby) and previous painful events might stop you from thinking this is a viable option.  Working through your feelings about motherhood won’t be easy (I’m not going to sugar coat it), and sometimes therapy is not a quick fix. But therapy is gratifying, safe, and judgment-free where you can share anything.

BENEFITS OF EXPRESSIVE ART THERAPY

• Creating something new while receiving hidden messages from your soul
• Trusting in yourself and the creative process
• Validation of your feelings, experiences, and story. You are the expert in your own life.
• Being seen and heard in a powerful way
• Sitting with your feelings, beginning to know them, learning from them, getting them outside of your body and onto paper
• Giving permission to your body to speak to you and move as it feels like moving
• Increasing your sense of self love and self acceptance
• Moving past distractions and scattered thoughts
• Giving yourself permission to go into the deepest parts of yourself
• Moving towards living a more intentional, creative, mindful, and authentic life
• Realizing the “part you play” in your life and interpersonal communications
• Accepting what you cannot control (aka. other people)
• Accessibility to unconscious thoughts, and your ability to alter them (aka. cognitive distortions, “the stories we tell ourselves”)
• Increasing your blood flow while creating
• Improving your immune system, blood pressure, heart rate, and respiration

Looking for support in your community, connect with Kayla, she will point you in the right direction.