It’s Time for a Change (but I Just Didn’t Make It Happen)

03/03/2018

It’s Time For a Change (But I Just Didn’t Make It Happen)

This journey with Readiness has changed me. Not physically, like I had hoped. But my mental game is different. I feel different.  I think differently about food and exercise than I did before.  This journey reminded me that women can support one another and women do support one another and a gym can be a safe place to go.

I fell off this program awhile back. Probably somewhere around week four was when it really started to get hairy.  I fell off and didn’t get back on right away. I said “I’ll get back on tomorrow,” but I didn’t.  Then I said “tomorrow,” and I didn’t again.  And so on and so forth.  And then I skipped my workout and then I skipped it again and then I stopped booking workouts because I just didn’t want to go. And then I bought a case of pop for my house which is something I said I was done doing because it’s one of my very worst habits.  And then I put my LBD recipe book on the shelf in my kitchen instead of leaving it out in the open like I had been for weeks. It all just derailed.

Tomorrow I am going for my after photos.  There isn’t going to be much of a difference in my body. Maybe a little less bloat. Maybe.  But otherwise, pretty much the same.  I am disappointed in myself. I am sad that I gave up. I am sad that I couldn’t figure out how to get out of my head and just make it happen. But I’m not going to dwell on it – I am going to move forward and work on my head stuff before my body stuff.  I need to work on my head stuff so that I can get out of it.

I didn’t work the program so it didn’t work for me. That’s on me. But there were some pretty incredible parts of it either way. For me, the biggest thing was the feeling I got when I was in the gym.  I have never left a class in the past at any gym in any facility and felt accomplished. I have always left dwelling on the things I couldn’t do, how goofy I must have looked making my body do that, how tired I felt afterwards, and how weak I was compared to the other people in the room.  When I left Readiness after a class it was different. I felt good. I was proud of what I was able to do. I was proud of the fact that I showed up and I put in the work.  And it was the other women in the room who did that for me – they made me feel strong, and successful, and proud. They made me feel welcome and like it really, genuinely, didn’t matter what I could or couldn’t do, but that fact that I showed up was enough.  It was a really, really good feeling.

So I am not a success story like I had hoped. I don’t have amazing before and after photos to show you like I had hoped. I am not the person who will inspire you to change the way I changed like I had hoped.  This didn’t go as I’d hoped. But it went and I learned and I really, really believe in what it was all about.  There are plenty of women with incredible success stories on the Readiness website and I encourage you to go feel inspired by them like I was at the start of this program and continue to be.  I encourage you to take a leap for yourself and for your body and for your health and for your family too.  That leap doesn’t need to happen at Readiness, but it’s an amazing option if you’re up for it.

Thanks for following my journey, mamas. Thank you for your encouragement and your support. I’m sorry I let myself down, and in turn, let you down.  But I’m grateful that you’re still here anyway.

Take care of yourself, mamas. Much love,

Jaclyn