Adjusting to Two – Mommy Blogger

10/23/2018

Hi, I’m Mandi, a South African wife and mama living in Canada. We moved to Saskatoon in January of this year, and I’m a stay-at-home Mama to my two littles – Summer Hope & Hudson. You can find me on Instagram @followthebergs where I post and blog about travel, parenting and real life.

I became a Mom to Summer Hope in September 2015 and have been trying to figure out this mama thing ever since – anyone else with me?! We were blessed to welcome our little boy Hudson to our crazy tribe May of this year, and we’ve been trying to adjust to two kiddos ever since.

So, what it’s really like going from one child to two? It’s the biggest balancing act of my life, but my heart has never been so full and so content!

I chatted to a few moms who have recently transitioned into mothering two littles, and I asked them about their experiences. This is what they had to say:

1. Oh that Mommy guilt

Mom guilt has never felt so real as it did in those first few weeks after birthing my second baby. You feel guilty for not being there for your first born the way you used to be. It’s heart-wrenching at times and I struggled with this the most! I felt like Summer needed more from me and I just couldn’t give her more time and energy, especially while constantly nursing my newborn and being up at all hours during the night.

2. First born acting out 

This is totally expected and normal, but when it is actually happening, it seriously cuts at the core. Summer struggled with the fact that I couldn’t be there with her every night for reading and bedtime, and definitely resented her little brother for some time. But this didn’t last long and she grew to understand and now adores her little ‘honey’ as she affectionately calls him 🙂

3. Getting into routine and being more organized 

The theme that emerged with pretty much every mama I asked about their adjusting to two experience, was the need to push routine much more than before. Becoming a well-oiled machine of a household is crucial to survival. If something doesn’t work, change it and try again, until some kind of order and routine is established.

4. A whole lot of love 

It’s true what they say – your heart just keeps growing and expanding when you add another child to your family. You never thought you could love another baby like you did your first, but it’s oh so possible!

To the Mums who are about to go through the adjusting to two journey, these are some tips to making the transition a bit easier:

1. Get help!

Us mamas don’t always take help that’s offered to us. Maybe we want to prove that we can do it alone, maybe we are too proud? Say yes to help with dinners, house cleaning, and helping with your first born during this time.

2. Get organized and be prepared

I found that cooking extra and having freezer dinners ready, as well as making sure our house was stocked with snacks and the essentials close to ‘go time’ (birth) was a real win. I also wrote out our first born’s typical daily schedule or routine in case the person looking after her would need it while we were at the hospital.

3. Use that nesting feeling

If you’re anything like me, I nested big time with both pregnancies. Use it. Having a clean house with things in order will go along way when your new baby comes home, and you have absolutely no time for that for a while!

4. Try keep something special for you and your first born 

Whether it be making sure you have special bonding and play time during the day while your newest addition naps, or being there for bath time or dinner or reading time – make sure to keep something for just you and your first born to share just the two of you. They go through so much drastic change when you welcome your new babe into your family and this helps to bring some consistently and reminds them that they are so important and soloved!

5. Remember that you are enough

Mama, you are enough! On those days where it seems impossible, when you feel like you will never spend enough time with your kids individually, or like you will never get to that ever-growing to do list… you are enoughfor your kiddos!

For those mamas who are about to welcome their second babe into their family, enjoy each moment. It’s the most challenging thing I have done but I would not change it for the world. I’m still figuring out this adjusting to two thing daily. Some days are a breeze and I think I’ve finally arrived; I finally know what I’m doing! And then we hit a hiccup – that’s motherhood for you. What a ride it’s been and what an adventure it will continue to be.