You Just Wait – Mommy Blogger

10/23/2018

My name is Erin McCrea. I’m a Momma, a pet Momma, and a writer. I had my first baby at age 35 in May of 2016. Becoming a mom was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, and I have loved every moment of it. I blog at  http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/, but haven’t done a lot since Anthony arrived. It’s my goal to be a consistent Writing Mom by the time his birthday arrives. I’m shy, caring, weird, bossy, and I try to be happy every day. My baby helps with that.”

I haven’t had an easy time being a Mom lately. I’ve not been touching my judgement. I’ve felt like I’m failing. I haven’t had a lot of patience, and I yell too much.

It doesn’t help that I am dealing with the classic ‘terrible twos’. Poor little bub gets upset, but can’t explain to me why he’s upset. I do understand sometimes, and while I understand he has trouble expressing himself, it’s still frustrating when he hits, or screams the scream he thinks is hilarious in public, or when he constantly head butts me. I love the little terror, but we are both working on this new phase of life. We’re both learning together.

When I tell people (or talk on Social Media), about his bad moments, I usually hear the same thing. The same thing that every mother with a kid at every age probably hears. “Just wait…”

Stop telling mommas “to just wait until he’s older. Then it will really be hard!” Just stop. I love parenting, but also comments that continue to describe each age as worse than the next really make me want to quit. (I won’t.) While I write this, I do know that the people saying this also love their kids and most likely wouldn’t trade a moment of it.

I’m going through a hard time in my mom life and the last thing I need is somebody saying, “Ok just wait until they’re 3.” “ Just wait until they’re 5.” “Just wait, this is the easy part.” Can we just agree that at certain points NO AGE IS EASY.

I’ve heard people call the newborn and baby stage the easy part. Try telling that to a new mom who hasn’t slept. I won’t forget how hard it is. The difference is if I choose to do it a second time, I have the lessons from my first. (Although the second would probably be opposite to keep me on my toes.)

I get it. Parenting is hard. I know that because I’m living through it. But I can’t keep hearing how hard it’s going to get, while in the same sentence, I’m told to cherish every moment.

There are moments I absolutely do cherish.

I will cherish so many things about my son. There are so many things I love about having a two year old. Like watching him learn new things, and knowing that he understands a lot of what I say. (Even when he argues with what I’m saying.) I love hearing him try out new words, or watch him not try new words because he’s stubborn and likes the name or sound effect he already chose for it. I love his love for me. I’m his person, and that makes me so grateful that he trusts me with his love. I love that he needs hugs about 50 times a day.

I will cherish the moments that mean everything to me. I won’t cherish my kiddos temper tantrums, and the moments he decides slapping me would make him feel better. Please don’t tell me to cherish that moment. There are more great moments than bad ones, and that’s what gets me through those hard days of parenting.

All parents feel like they are failing at times, and it’s unfortunate that (especially Mommas) are SO hard on themselves because our kiddos love us with all their hearts, and trust us with their lives. We aren’t failing.  When I feel like this, there isn’t a lot of things people can say, other than “I’ve been there.” Or even “I’m there now.” Because it doesn’t matter what age your child is: there are hard moments.

To hear that my child’s behaviour will continue to drive me more and more crazy scares me. “The Threenager”. “The F-ing Fours”.  Come on guys! First of all, all kids are different. Second of all for every bad moment, share a good one! I KNOW there HAS to be a good moment. Right? (Right? PLEASE?)

I want to look forward to what’s coming next. Not worry it’s all going to get worse.The good news is, for the most part, I do know that parents who tell me that it will only get worse, are also loving parenthood, and are at times joking. But I’m still super scared for the threes and fours. (SEND HELP!)