Comparisons + Confidence: Standing Bold – Mommy Blogger


Comparisons + Confidence: Standing Bold – Mommy Blogger

June 17, 2019

Hi! My name is Tess. I’m the mom of one (soon to be two!). Since returning to work from my 12 month maternity leave I have been trying to find the balance in my life. Balancing work, social, parenting, being a wife and home responsibilities while maintaining a sense of individuality and self has proved to be challenging. I love to write and talk to others about how they find balance in their lives. I’d love to connect with you – you can contact me or read my latest thoughts on my blog at .

I often compare myself to others. I think it is human nature and super common, I don’t feel a lot of guilt over it. However, I can sense when my comparison has gone too far and I start to feel competitive with others or feel my confidence dropping because of the comparison.
As a new(ish) mom, I feel this sense of competition heightens as you enter the world of parenthood.

There are so many areas of comparison as a parent. It is the cause of heated debates and avoided topics – potty training, sleep training, feeding (bottle vs. breast, starting solids), the list is endless. It is easy for this comparison of parenting to tread into comparison of ourselves – as mothers.

I often have coffee dates, at my place or friends and internally compare how clean their place is compared to mine. When out in public, it’s common to compare how other children are behaving and how our own child(ren) behaves. I will see another mom looking awesome – out at the park, hair curled, obviously in shape, makeup on, well-dressed, and then look at myself who just whipped together a snack and am out and about with hair in a bun, no makeup and yoga pants.

While a certain level of comparison is so natural and healthy in encouraging ourselves to improve and self-check, I find that for myself it reaches a point of affecting my well-being. Confidence in ourselves and our choices as mothers and individuals is so important. Constant comparisons can cause us to become unsure and see ourselves as less or questioning our own decisions.

Personally, I find being well-informed in my parenting decisions helps me to feel confident. I read books or do research and then feel that even if something seems to be working for others, or someone questions why I am choosing to do bedtime a certain way (or any of the hot topics), I can confidently respond that I believe it is what will work best for my family. You will have what works for you – conscious decision making will help you to feel confident in your choices.

In terms of my individuality and confidence, I know that I am not always going to have my crap together – and that is okay. I am at peace with that. I also know that sometimes I can totally nail it. It all evens out.

On my blog,, I talk about finding life balance and creating what works best for you. Every mom and every person is different. Be a conscious decision maker, and be confident in your decisions. You are making the right choices for yourself and your family. Practice non-judgement. Be kind to others. You got this, mama.

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