Learning From my Mini Me – Mommy Blogger

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Learning From my Mini Me – Mommy Blogger

May 1, 2020

My name is Teri and I’m the proud mama of a busy, hilarious, brilliant toddler and an awesome, beautiful, rapidly changing baby. Being a mom is a challenging and beautiful adventure that nothing else in my life prepared me for. Luckily, I have an amazing husband who is there through all the ups and downs, awesome friends who are happy to share their parenting knowledge (or at least laugh with me through the chaos!), and an extended family who is always ready to help. I work as a marketing and communications professional when I’m not at home on maternity leave, and I love sharing my experiences as a mom.

Before I became a mom, I heard lots of people talk about how their kids were like them. There were the jokes about the karma—payback for being such crazy kids. Or the stories of words repeated that you’d maybe rather not be. Or watching them mimic you cooking or cleaning, with sometimes less-than-helpful results.

Since having my own kids, there have been many ways I’ve seen myself or my husband in them. Some of them are immediately obvious—with both boys I heard more times than I can count how much they look like my husband (although I’ll steal a little of the credit too). Some are cute little moments, like when our oldest calls his little brother “my sweet baby,” which is something I say to him, or he pretends he’s drinking coffee (his dad’s drink of choice) or a London fog (mine).

Then there are the moments when they reflect back to me the things I struggle with about myself. Our oldest is already such a perfectionist, and can get really frustrated if he isn’t immediately good at something. He might look like his dad, but his personality is more like mine—his dad is much more easygoing, and more patient with himself and with everyone else.

We recently potty trained our son, and he did really well the first couple of days, but we hit a bit of speed bump on the third day. After a couple of accidents, he was in tears. Trying to reassure him, I reminded him that he was learning something new, which can be hard, and that he was doing really good. His reply? “NO I’M NOT DOING GOOD!” Shouted. Through tears. And suddenly I saw how upset he was, not with me, but with himself, and it broke my heart.

We talked it through and he calmed down, and we quickly got back on track with the potty training. It was a moment he forgot quickly and easily.

But that moment has caused me to take a step back to reflect, on how hard I can be on myself, and how those casual comments I make when I make a mistake, or forget to do something, or get frustrated because I don’t get something on the first try, are being watched and soaked up by my little sidekick. That’s not what I want to teach him.

I want him to know that it’s not only okay to fail—it’s expected. It’s part of the process. It means you’re working toward something new, which is exciting and brave. Giving up doesn’t get you anywhere, and getting mad at yourself happens sometimes but really isn’t necessary or helpful. I want him to embrace everything life has to offer, try new things, even when they seem hard, and put himself out there, even if it might mean falling short sometimes.

And those are good reminders for me too. Every time he tries something new, like potty training, and conquers the challenge, it really inspires me. It’s a lesson that needs a refresher every once in a while, and one that is made easier to remember with his help.

 

 

 

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