The Bedtime Dance – Mommy Blogger

06/03/2018

Nicole Betker is a mother, wife, rabid Toronto Blue Jays fan and a pop culture junkie. Always having an opinion or something to say, it’s time this journalism grad found a place to share her musings on the acts of “adulting”.

Bedtime has become a chess match. Parents against toddler.

Excuse after excuse. Reason after reason.  Here are the top excuses my toddler comes up with nightly at bedtime. Let me know if any of these sound familiar?

1. I’m hungry.

Really? You had a cheese string 5 minutes ago.

2. I’m thirsty

I’ll get you water.

3. I need to go potty.

Fine. Go potty, then go straight back to bed.

4. I’m scared.

Randall isn’t real. He’s just the mean monster from Monsters Inc. Don’t worry, Buzz Lightyear will protect you.

5. I want to watch TV with you.

Mom, isn’t watching TV right now. I’m going to bed too.

6. I want (insert random toy) to sleep with.

That (insert random toy) is sleeping right now. It will come hang out with you in the morning after you sleep.

7. I didn’t say goodnight to daddy.

He’s right here. Say goodnight (for the 600^th time).

8. I’m thirsty.

Your water is by your bed.

9. I’m hungry.

Fine. Here is another cracker.

10. I want to read a book.

We’ve read six books. The books are tired.

11. But I’m not sleepy (cue big yawn).

I think you are just a little sleepy.

12. I need to go potty. I’m scared. I want to watch TV with you. I want (insert random toy) to sleep with. I didn’t say goodnight to daddy. I’m thirsty. I’m hungry.

In circles we go until eventually toddler is too exhausted for another excuse. Some nights, the toddler wins. I forfeit. Grab my class of wine and resign to watch PJ Masks until we are well past a normal three-year-old’s bedtime.

I’ve retreated into survival mode and can only hope that as I’ve learned as a parent children go through stages – I’m hoping this is a short lived one. Or that some parent, somewhere has a magical cure to share with me.

Sigh. He’s thirsty again…