Spirituality, Marriage and My Own Love Dare Journey

03/08/2013

One of my new years resolutions last year was to become more spiritual.  I attended church as a child and after my youngest brother was born, we slowly stopped attending and then eventually stopped all together.  Both of my parents were very involved in the church when I was young and our whole community was based around the family friends we met through church.  We have a new non-denominational church that was just built in my neighborhood and when we were out a walk my then 3.5 year old asked me what was being built.  When I told her it was a church, she then asked me what a church was.  Huh – how do you explain that?  I tried to tell her about Sundays and praying and God and well… it all got very confusing, very fast!  I wouldn’t call myself a very religious person, but over the last year, I have definitely become more thoughtful about life, it’s purpose and how I can instill spirit and faith into my family.

Last Fall, I joined a ladies morning church group with some friends that I actually met through a Mommy Connections Mom & Tot class (yes, I myself enroll in our programs!)  Madelyn goes to the amazing preschool on Wednesday mornings while I socialize with a great group of women.  We read a book each ‘semester’ and the new book we started in January is called The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.  While it does quote scripture throughout, which I am learning more about as someone who hasn’t read the bible, it is just a really thoughtful book with amazing insight.  During one of our my ladies mornings, our current book discussion led to another project that Rick Warren’s California church created, ‘40 Days of Love‘  I decided that I was going to commit to my own version of purpose, spirituality and commitment to my marriage in my own little 31 days of love challenge.  On March 1 I began my 31 days of love to my husband.

Like most marriages, mine could definitely use some work, and a lot of it comes from me (where we could improve!) I thrive on stress and being busy. Between my 2 companies, events, keeping a ‘perfect house-hold’ volunteering, boards and my not for profit work, I often feel like I simply don’t have time for niceties when it comes to communicating with my husband. I know this is terrible to admit to, but when you feel like you spend all of your time representing your kids, family, company etc in a perfect, positive light, when you get home, you are done! It’s nothing major, just little things like being resentful that he got to work out, rather than me, comments that he had a long day (and I quickly remind him that it’s me that just had a second baby, stays at home full time with 2 kids, keeps up the house, always has laundry done and dinner ready and runs 2 busy companies!)

I am planning to really appreciate my amazing husband and all he provides for us and stop the nattering, negative banter and just feel blessed for all that I have. These 31 days are for me to refocus on our relationship and the fantastic life we have built and re-shape our marriage!  A friend in my ladies morning church group forwarded me the following Love Dare link (Thanks Nicole!)  It has scripture quoted throughout, but even if you aren’t interested in that, the dares and daily lessons are really great.  I plan to incorporate these ‘Love Is’ dares into my own 31 Day commitment to my husbands.  Some of my favorites are:

So- if you are a mom out there who feels overwhelmed, under appreciated, overworked and underpaid, before you blow a gasket the next time your husband is late or does something to drive you crazy- consider doing this! We all need to be reminded to treat out partners with more respect, love and patience (I REALLY need to work on the last one as someone who always wants things done NOW!). I know that this little exercise is going to do wonders for our relationship. I am committed to reminding him with love notes, emails, words and actions at least once every day for the entire month of March! Screw February- this year, March is our month of love and kindness. 😉

If you take on this challenge too- I’d love to hear from you!

Mrs. Cupid

Aka Carol- Mommy Connections President