How many kids is the right number?


How many kids is the right number?

December 5, 2014

Today, I left my 32 week doctors appointment with my OB feeling like I had some big decisions to make – or to not make.  I am headed for a 3rd c-section (says the women who considered a home birth, hired a hypnotherapist AND a doula for one labour… how plans change!) on January 29.  I had my usual questions; I have a weird leg rash thing that just popped up a few days ago and I am wondering how he can fix my strange incision bulge this time around.  I also wondered how accurate last week’s ultrasounds ‘5lb baby’ estimate was – I mean, I still have 7 weeks to go! I rattled off a few more questions to my ever-so-patient Doctor.  Before I knew it, my questions were done, but now he had questions for me!

He was wondering what my plans were for birth control after baby.  Hmmm… we’ve been trying to have babies since 2006, and it’s 2014.  I’ve openly written about the fact that I’ve had 4 pregnancies and currently have 2 children.  The idea of birth control is a bit foreign to me as of late.  This 3rd baby was our surprise bonus baby after deciding we wouldn’t try and force conception any longer through drugs or procedures.  I guess there is an order to the effectiveness of permanent birth control: Daddy get’s snipped (which he is on board for), I use an IUD (which I am NOT on board for) or I have a tubal DURING my cesarean, in like 7 weeks!

This seems so rash to me.  It apparently only takes about 5 minutes longer in the OR for the simple tubal procedure.  There is no additional pain or discomfort with a tubal.  It can be done quickly and easily right then and there and be over and done with.  I just don’t know how to make the decision.  You are just bringing life into the word and suddenly closing the door on the possibility to any additional babies right then and there?! I would be open to having a 4th, but then the realist in me pipes up.  Do we have the money to raise a fourth child?  Where will they sleep in our house if we want all of our kids to have their own bedroom?  Won’t the car be too squished on road trips?  Am I prepared to do long nights and fussy days with yet another little human?  Is my husband right that he shouldn’t be over 60 when the last kids are graduating from high school? Is it time to focus on the kids we have and just enjoy them and grow up with them?  Is 4+ kids becoming too tricky in our society today?

As you can tell, I have a ton of questions, which probably means I’m not quite ready to make a decision.  There is also the idea of adoption, which we have always been open to, based on our struggles with fertility.  I just have no idea what to do, but I guess it is good Dr. F brought it up now so I have some time to ponder.

I’ve had all this on my mind since 11am this morning, and then I came across this funny post on “Big Ass Families” – it is worth the read and maybe some though on expanding past baby #3!  For the next 7 weeks, I will be busy deciding if I should continue on creating little miracles!


Happy reproducing (or not!)



MC President

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