Some days are hard

11/29/2017

We all struggle with the challenges of motherhood. We never thought we would think about sleeping and feeding as much as we do. We are all looking to get into a routine that gives us a much needed rest, time to shower, clean our house, cook a meal or to just take a breath. We also want our babies rested to cut down on the cranky times. While I don’t know the answer to how to accomplish that routine as each baby and mama are so different, what I can tell you is this; You are doing the best you can. It may seem like your baby won’t sleep in that $500 crib that is busy collecting dust in the nursery. It may be that your little one takes cat naps all day along aside your breast or in your arms while you stand and sway. Just when you think you have some sort of routine sorted out….bam, it all changes. It’s those teeth, growth spurts, colds, daylight savings time, visitors, the holidays, etc.
The truth is that infant sleep is a mystery to most parents and this is mainly because they can’t understand why something works one day but not the next. Why is that? I have yet to figure it out. I sometimes feel its a part of a secret baby plan to control us zombie mamas, but that can’t be because they are so sweet and innocent. My best advice to you is that like pregnancy, the baby stage comes and goes so quickly. It is so hard to tell that to a mom who hasn’t slept well in weeks or months. One who feels the old her is a distant memory. Where is that woman I once was? I really do miss her some days. I miss liking my spouse too, I still love him, but today I resent that he slept all night while I was awake with baby. I was not prepared for this.
So what I say to you is keep on trying. Follow your instincts. Do what works for you without the guilt of what you should be doing. You are dedicating every ounce of your soul into this little being so it should be without shame. Take family up on help when you can. Keep communication open with your spouse and friends going through the same thing or that have gone through the same thing. To the odd friend who lies and says their baby slept through from day 1 and they never looked back is the same friend who claims she can still fit into jeans she wore in  High School…..lies I tell you all lies 🙂
Enjoy every moment of snuggling your baby, I promise you as a Mom of four, you will never regret it. You will never say, you know I held my baby all day today and my dishes piled up and supper ended up being take out. You know why you won’t say it, is because you will only remember the baby snuggles, not the mess. If I could go back in time I would tell my younger self this very same thing. I still remind myself of this every day as I approach my last baby growing up so quickly before my eyes.
The guilt will always be there but behind that guilt is one fabulous Mama and that is YOU!