Mom Grief

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Mom Grief

03/30/2017

March 31 Mama Blogger: Kelsey Sheppard

Kelsey was raised in a small Saskatchewan town called Esterhazy and is a Red Seal/Journeyman Chef by trade.  She has a wonderful partner named Anthony, a beautiful 1-year-old named Fayelynn, and a black lab named Tritan.

Mom Grief

Grieve (verb) is to feel grief or great sorrow.

Grieving the loss of a loved one, in my experience, has never been easy. Losing someone, of course, always comes with an array or emotions, but it does get easier.

In my life before becoming a mother, I had lost two very important people in my life; my grandmother and my cousin. Grieving for me then was hard, but would become easier as the days passed. This past summer in August, to be precise, I lost another person that I loved very dearly. My aunt was like another mother to our family and was always there for dance recitals, graduations, birthdays, etc. It was extremely unexpected and happened very quickly. Two weeks after her passing seemed like a blur. Being with family, being back in my hometown and being surrounded by such love helped the most.

I’ve always been told that grief comes in 5 stages

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

Before becoming a mother, I found these 5 stages to be true. What no one told me is that along with your own grief comes something I have dubbed as “Mom Grief.” The grief that lasts until… Well, I honestly don’t know because I still have it.

Fayelynn, our little girl was born in March of 2016 and was just 5 months old when my aunt passed away. The “Mom Grief” is for Faye. The grief I feel when I think about all of the love that Faye will never experience from my aunt. The pain in my heart when I think about how Faye will grow up and not get to know the funny, loving, caring, compassionate, outgoing, empathetic and beautiful person she was.

I do believe “Mom Grief” is necessary for healing. Realizing the grief is present and focusing on the positive things in life helps make the “Mom Grief” a little more bearable. Losing someone is never easy. Keeping her memory alive, and sharing her love with Faye, is part of dealing with the left-over grief.

 

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