Dear Daughter


Dear Daughter


April 21st Mama Blogger – MC Director Jaclyn Roach

Jaclyn, mama of two girls, is into incredibly embarrassing reality TV and floral print.  She loves to read books when she can, sip on sangria, and cuddle with her babies.  She is a Saskatchewan-grown child-of-divorce and loves no one more than her husband, her girls, and her big, blended family.  When she remembers, she is a wife first, a mother second, and everything else falls somewhere further on that list.  Although she is a teacher by trade, Jaclyn’s role as the Director of Mommy Connections Regina has been the shift in her career she has been looking for and allows her to do all the things she loves most.

Dear Daughter


Dear Daughter,

I love you. So, so, so, so much. So much that it hurts.  And I am so, so, so scared of the world you are about to grow up in.  Things they are a-changing, and not all of them are good.  There is no way to make it through unscathed without being ignorant, and my dear, you will not be ignorant.  The passionate feminist in me refuses to allow it.  So I am going to give you advice. Corny and cliché, funny and heartwarming, serious and necessary advice.

First. Be kind. Be generous.  Believe in the good in people.  Through it all, there is so much good.  Find it and latch on and shower yourself in it.  Your kindness will be rewarded and when it’s not, especially when it’s not, continue to be kind.  You will be happier for it.

Second. Don’t forget that morning comes and the sun always follows the dark.  Sometimes, that thought is all that can get you through the night.  Everything passes.  Do what you can to survive it.  I will always be here to help you survive it.

Third.  Be so silly. As often as you can. Laugh and laugh and laugh at everything.  Don’t take it too seriously.  I get caught up, sometimes, taking it all too seriously.  It’s not healthy.  Laughter IS medicine and silliness brings you good health.  Make the joke.  Be vulnerable.  LOVE the crow’s feet on your eyes from so much smiling.  Be happy.

Fourth. Kiss the boy. Or girl.  Always kiss them.  Love so deeply it hurts (like how much I love you).  Show people how much you love them. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if the outcome might not be great.  We don’t get a lot of permanence in this world – things change quickly.  So hold onto the people you love and don’t let them get away.  You’ll need them someday.

Fifth. Be strong. Be a feminist. Inspire the people around you to be a feminist.  Feminism is about equality and believing that women deserve everything that men have. It’s not about hating men. Please don’t hate men. It’s not about being better than men.  You, my dear, are not better than anyone. It’s just about equality.

Sixth.  Take magnesium.  Poop regularly. Regular pooping makes for happy people.  Don’t let your body fill with shit (literally or figuratively).  Keep yourself regular and you will be satisfied with life.

Seventh. You can be anything you want.  Anywhere you want.  But that doesn’t mean you can have everything you want when you want it.  And it doesn’t mean you don’t have to work so, so hard to be what you want. Everything in this life is earned, my dear, and you will show people that you’ve earned it.  I won’t allow any less.

Eighth.  Travel.  But settle close-to-home.  Keep your heart in Saskatchewan always.  You were made here, you were grown here, I will always be here. Always come home to me.

Ninth. Always stand up for people. Even if it doesn’t directly affect you.  Even if it’s awkward.  Even if the people who you are standing up to aren’t listening. Always know in your heart you did what you could.  And make sure you stand up for yourself.  If they can’t accept who you are, walk away. They just aren’t worth it.

Tenth.  Protect yourself. And the women around you.  And the men around you.  But not by hiding and not out of fear.  Teach your own children (if you desire to have them), like I will teach you, that instead of constantly worrying about having to protect themselves, stop doing things that cause people to feel the need to be protected.  Boys WILL NOT be boys and your hemline is never too short.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Continue to inspire me.  I will continue to teach you.  Continue to just BE.  You are so perfect.  Wonderful.  Silly.  Brave.  Kind.  Generous.  Grateful.  Beautiful.  Strong.  Gentle.  Smart.  Be all of these things all at once.  Choose happiness.  And remember that it’s a journey, not a destination.   This world may not be good to you, my dear, but please don’t let it stop you from being good.  I love you.  So, so, so, so much.  And I am so, so, so confident you can handle the world you’re about to grow up in.

Love Mom.


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One response to “Dear Daughter”

  1. Mom says:

    I feel like this is something I would have wrote to you, which is how you turned out.

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