The Longest, Shortest Time

12/02/2017

It’s early in the morning and I am up with my girls.  It’s still pitch-black outside and they have all the energy in the world.  Netflix is on while they have their breakfast and I get some work done.  Netflix, colouring, and quiet activities save me as a work-at-home mom.  Today, I opt for Netflix.

When I hear that first “Mom!” or cry at six in the morning, I want to cry a little bit myself. It hurts. Physically, it hurts.  I just want 15 more minutes… or 3 more hours would be nice, but here they are needing me again.  So I get up and I get at it. Some days I lay on the couch for the first three hours of the day while they destroy my house around me and keep each other busy. Some days I am ambitious and by 9:00 am I’ve completed my day’s to-do list. Some mornings are hard and some mornings are just so, so blissful. THIS morning is a blissful one, despite the bags under my eyes.

There is something so peaceful about the dark in the morning, the Christmas lights turned on, the rest of the lights kept dim. In these moments I just watch my babies.  I try to really take it all in. How lucky I am. How beautiful and smart and gentle they are.   How much they make my heart burst.  In these moments I am reminded of why I chose this path in the first place.

Motherhood is hard.  And I try to be honest about that.  Sometimes, though, I fear my honesty makes other people (and even myself) not recognize how truly grateful I am for this life with my babies.  I have spent my whole life wanting to be a mom and although it hasn’t gone how I would have planned or hasn’t been the picture I had in my head, it really has been an incredible journey so far.  I recognize how blessed I am to have two healthy children after two healthy pregnancies and even on the days I complain or acknowledge the challenges that come with motherhood, I need you to know that I know this.

So even on the days that are hard, the nights that are long, or the mornings that are too early, I challenge you to stop for a moment and just breathe it in.  Embrace motherhood in all of its challenges and in all of the difficult moments.  Fall in love with those babies over and over and over again.  This is the longest, shortest time of your life and soon it will all be over.  So snuggle in, embrace how much they need you and how tired you are because of it, and spend the rest of your days loving more deeply than you ever thought possible.

You can do this, mama.