Surviving the Holidays with Your Babies

12/24/2017

Christmas has always been a big deal in my family.  My parents are divorced so I have spent my life alternating between my dad’s house and my mom’s house for Christmas Day. It never really mattered to me whose house we were at for the holidays because they were both all about the same thing – spending quality time with one another on the holidays.  Both homes have always made my heart feel warm on the holidays.  We play games, we eat food, and there are always lots of people around to spend the day with.  It has always filled my cup.  Then I had my own kids.

Don’t get me wrong, I still get warm feelings spending the day with my family and I look forward to it every year.  I eagerly anticipate waking up early and opening presents and seeing everyone’s faces when they see the awesome gifts I spent so much time finding for them.  And now that I have kids, there is added warmth. It is so fun watching everyone be so excited by them and it has brought true youth back to our Christmas festivities. But it is… exhausting.  I find myself leaving our Christmas festivities feeling so, so beat.  I find it over-stimulating and very overwhelming.  Again, I still love it. So very much. But now that I have my own children, I look forward to the end of it as much as I do the beginning.  So this year, I promised myself not to stress about the little things. Especially because this year I am hosting on three different occasions.

“Don’t stress about the small stuff” is always so much easier said than done.  I, like many moms, want the experience to be perfect for my children. I want them to look back on these events and think, “man, my mom nailed it,” and I want them to go to sleep at the end of the day knowing how hard I worked to make a great day for them because I love them so much.  But looking back on my own childhood, I don’t remember how well the turkey was cooked, what dishes were used to serve dinner, how nicely the ribbon was wrapped on the presents, or even really what was inside the presents.  I remember the warm feelings, and the love, and the games, and sitting around the table together feeling so safe and happy surrounded by everyone in the world who mattered to me.  I remember the parts that no one planned.

So like I said, this year, I have tried to stress less and love more.  I didn’t focus all of my time and energy on finding the perfect presents or prepping and planning the perfect meal.  We have already finished two of our Christmas events and they both went smoothly, even though there was nothing particularly special about them (besides the specialness of spending time with each other).  I still felt exhausted at the end of them, but not in the same way I have in the other two years of my oldest daughter’s life.  I felt tired and refreshed all at the same time.  I crashed hard but woke up ready to take it all on again.  I don’t dread next year.

I know lots of mamas can relate to these feelings, so whether you’re in the middle of your holiday festivities, at the very start, or nearing the end, I want you to remember these things for survival:

• No one will remember what the meal was served in or on. And they won’t have memories of you if you spend the whole day in the kitchen.  So share the job – get your sister to bring stuffing, get your cousin to bring the potatoes. It’s okay if you can’t do it all.  The time spent is more important.
• Everyone will love their gifts. You were thoughtful and caring in choosing them. And if they don’t like them, that’s their problem. You did your best. You always do.
• It’s okay if you aren’t the perfect hostess. People can fill their own drinks.  They can find their own snacks.  They can make their own company.  It’s not your job to make the experience perfect for everyone.
• Stop, take a deep breath, look at those babies, and realize that they are what this is all about. Cuddle them, read them their Christmas stories, and take so many (even imperfect) pictures of them in those adorable Christmas jammies.  Just be present. Make sure you have good memories to look back on too.

You’ve got this, mama.  Merry Christmas.

<3 Jaclyn