Three driven and passionate Saskatchewan mothers, Carla O’Reilly, Elita Paterson and Tania Bird came together in 2008 and sparked a healing wave with a mission to provide awareness, acceptance and understanding of Postpartum difficulties with the release of their book, The Smiling Mask-Truths about Postpartum Depression and Parenthood.
Together the team along with their husband’s began speaking first locally and then across Canada. To date the team along with their spouses have spoken 200 times including keynoting at 8 medical conferences across Canada and in 2011 received the Family Resource Programs of Canada Family Legacy award for their outstanding work in the area of mental health promotion along with the 2010 YWCA Women of Distinction Circle of Friends award.
This year they are celebrating their fifth year of advocacy!
Q: How did the Smiling Mask Team meet?
Carla: Tania and I actually met at the YMCA Postpartum Depression (PPD) support group in Regina. I had suffered for four long years in silence because I was so ashamed. When I met Tania, I realized I was no longer alone! I had met my twin!
Tania and Elita were also friends, but Elita had suffered in silence for over a year with PPD, because she did not feel she was bad enough to get help. The three of us formed a spirited connection right away! We had empathy for one another’s experiences with the illness.
Q: How did the idea for the book come about?
Carla: Tania and I went for coffee one night and she started talking about all her goals and dreams, and then she cornered me and asked me what my dream was?
I had to think for a moment, because truly I was just surviving. Then I told her I wanted to write a book to help mothers who were struggling with PPD.
Q: So how long did it take you to write the book? How did this project get off and running?
We found an amazing woman named Peggy Collins to publish our book. Peggy also had a passion to empower women and we started writing and speaking! We set up speaking events locally, and shared our experiences. We were supported tremendously in our communities. We wrote the book in 40 weeks and called it the birthing of our second baby! We each have one child, after our experience with PPD.
Q: What do you attribute your healing to?
Carla: When we wrote the book and shared our honest experiences with PPD, tremendous weights were lifted off our shoulders. All the shame and the sadness were destroyed. The Smiling Mask was destroyed.
Q: Where did the name for the book came from?
Carla: I thought of the name, because for so long I hid my pain and my sadness with a smile, when inside I was hiding terrifying horrific thoughts. I struggled with Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive disorder. At points during my struggle I wanted to die. Regardless of the severity, all three of us felt this way. We hid in shame. There is a stigma attached to this illness. Women are expected to be perfect mothers. We are our own worst judges.
Q: What has changed in the last four years?
Carla: There have been amazing developments!!! We are part of a province wide initiative! Saskatchewan is pioneering the way for maternal mental health with the MotherFirst Report. www.skmaternalmentalhealth.ca
Proactive education and screening using the Edinburgh Postnatal Depressive Screen (EPDS) screen are the two most powerful ways to stop the illness from escalating!!!
Q: So you also have a documentary complimentary to the first book and a second book entitled, Behind the Mask-Trust, Adjust and Transform your Life! Tell us about those?
Carla: Our ambassador’s have great ideas. After our first speaking conference, nurses came up to us and suggested we create a documentary. We connected with a film maker named Dianne Oullette and our documentary was created over the summer of 2009. Now it has been screened all across Canada and is being used also in prenatal education!
We also kept being asked the same question over and over at our speaking engagements….How can you be so happy? How did you go from surviving to thriving?
We were inspired again to write our second book, and voila! “Behind the Mask: Trust, Adjust and Transform Your Life” was born.
Q: Tell us about the Behind the Mask workbook? What is it about?
Carla: Behind the Mask is a wellness workbook in which the three of us share our transformative healing journeys. It combines many different types of healing therapies and brings them all together. We think of it as a treasure chest of tools!
Q: Tools? What tools do you discuss?
Carla: In order to begin our healing journey we had to work through the following principles. Everyone can use these principles to heal. The tools are simple and effective. They are: self-awareness, forgiveness, acceptance and love.
Q: Can you give us an example of how you used the tools?
Carla: I would love to! We share real life examples throughout the book.
In order to heal, I began to understand that I would need to forgive myself for the illness. Forgiving yourself is the hardest thing.
I learned that there are no perfect mothers. The only thing I ever needed to do was love my son to the best of my ability and even through my darkest points I also made sure he knew he was loved.
I became aware and accepted myself, I embraced the fact that I was unique, that we are all unique. I accepted my illness and now view it as a gift.
Q: What about another example Tania?
Tania: For me, it all begins with becoming self-aware. What are your beliefs? Why do we think the things we do. For me, a big AH-HA moment was the recognition that I was much more than my physical body. I was physical and also mental, emotional and spiritual and in order to heal, I need to work on all the components of myself. I realized that I needed to incorporate more laughter into my life, along with little television (the news is depressing) and do daily activities that lifted my spirits, like getting enough sunshine, visiting girlfriends and eating well. I also read booked that uplifted – and most importantly I prayed and meditated.
Q: So, Carla is your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) cured?
Carla: Well the coolest thing about my OCD, is I have finally understand how to use it, accept it and channel it positively! My new motto is “Find a passion and obsess about it! You will make the world a better place!”
The doctors told me I would have OCD for the rest of my life, but they didn’t stipulate how to use it!
When I wrote “The Smiling Mask” and began this project, I spent my energy helping others, now five years later it is a habit I love!!!
Q: Can Behind the Mask help others as well, even if they aren’t suffering with PPD?
Carla: Yes!!! We wrote it with the intention of guiding anyone struggling to overcome any adversity – depression, grief, loss, divorce, illness or wanting to take their life to the next level!!! PPD is just an adjective! We have started offering workshops as well! Contact us for more information about this at destroythemask@gmail.com
Q: What is next on the horizon for the Smiling Mask team?
Carla: We have learned the importance of a work/life balance and are spending time enjoying our children grow in the second half of our lives. I love being a baseball and hockey mom, my son is great to watch and has a quirky sense of humor!
I will be releasing my first children’s book sometime in the next year called Planting the Seeds of Dreams! This is another dream!
Q: What about you Tania? What is next?
Tania: Well, I am enjoying my daughter. I am involved in the school and her activities. I see more writing in our future – about wellness! That is really our passion… wellness and uplifting others.
Q: What piece of advice can you offer to readers?
Carla: We are all beautiful and unique and have powerful gifts to offer to the world, so what are you waiting for? Follow your dreams and surround yourself with balcony people! Balcony people will cheer your every victory!!! Balcony people will say “go for it.” Wake up every day and begin with the question? What can I do to make the world a better place!!
Q: Where can people find information about PPD?
Carla: Go to our website!!! We created it to with the intention to provide education, empowerment, encouragement and empathy! It is a one stop shop!!!
www.thesmilingmask.com. And if you still have questions email us at destroythemask@gmail.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR5C7Q5HuqI
This is the Behind the Mask interview on Healthmatters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj2fszMl6x4
This is the a trailer for The Smiling Mask documentary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cax6UN6aHZw
This is the Smiling Mask book launch.
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