The Kindness of Strangers – Mommy Blogger

02/19/2018

My name is Erin McCrea. I’m a Momma, a pet Momma, and a writer. I had my first baby at age 35 in May of 2016. Becoming a mom was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, and I have loved every moment of it. I blog at  http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/, but haven’t done a lot since Anthony arrived. It’s my goal to be a consistent Writing Mom by the time his birthday arrives. I’m shy, caring, weird, bossy, and I try to be happy every day. My baby helps with that.”

When my baby was about 17 months, I took him on a plane for the first time. We flew to Ontario. It was stressful. I was flying with him alone, and I had no idea what to expect. I was concerned for the people I’d be sitting next to. We were up by 4am, and on the plane by 6am. I sat beside an older couple. They had grandchildren of their own. They were incredibly kind. They let Anthony sit with them and look out the window. He fell asleep on me as we were landing, and they helped me get my luggage off the plane. The experience was wonderful. I was incredibly grateful for the kindness.

Two weeks later, on my way back to Saskatoon, the plane was delayed. We arrived at the airport early, and I was definitely feeling overwhelmed with the wait, and Anthony was definitely feeling impatient. I went to change him before we boarded. I had the huge stroller, our carry-on bags, and a grumpy toddler. A woman had followed me into the washroom. As I was putting Anthony on the change table, she stopped before going into a stall, and said, “Before I go in, can I help you with anything?”

That was it for our interaction. I said thanks to her, but I was good. In that moment, I was so incredibly happy to have that little bit of kindness. The solo parenting trip was not easy, and although I didn’t take her up on it, her offer to help a stressed out Momma in the bathroom will always be remembered by me.

I spend a lot of time worrying that I’m bothering those around me when Anthony cries or acts up. We were at Jerry’s on 51st this summer (amazing place to take kids), and Anthony fell and started to cry. I picked him up and soothed him, and looked around because I was worried I was bothering everyone. At that moment, I knew from the looks that people were feeling bad for us, but not bothered. In the kid’s area of Jerry’s, people understand. That’s why they’re sitting there. The looks we got were nothing but kind.

A couple weeks ago, I was shopping at the Co-op. Anthony was in the midst of the most dramatic breakdown he’s ever had in public. I had just picked him up out of the car grocery cart (which is normally his favourite thing), and was trying to calm him as I was getting ‘poor you’ and ‘please quiet down your kid’ and ‘I am glad that’s not me’ looks. A woman walked by me, and said, “My daughter has a son around his age. It’s hard, I know.” That’s all she said, but the way she said it calmed me down (and helped to calm Anthony down). I stopped worrying about bothering the other people, and just focused on calming down my son. I’ve added a photo, but of a happier time in a car cart, and not at Co-op. I didn’t have one that day. This is his usual reaction. That day, nothing made him happy.

She was right. At times it is hard, and even though that’s all she said to me, it was nice to have it acknowledged.

When parenting moments are hard, it’s a relief to have somebody help you, even if they are a stranger you may never see again. Even if it’s simply a kind word. I don’t know how often I helped before Anthony. I didn’t get it. I lived in my own clueless world, and just assumed they had it under control. (By the way, I’d like to make it clear, that I don’t think other people without kids think the same way I did. I just didn’t have that instinct yet. Others are less selfish than I was.)

I’ve learned how important it is to offer as much kindness as I can to a struggling parent. You may not even know they’re struggling, but they may be. There’s enough mom judging or mom assumptions in the world. Most Mom’s or Dad’s just need a kind word or smile. I know it helps me.

I’m filled with gratitude for the kindness of strangers I’ve met since becoming a mom. There are many. I hope someday I can return the favour.