The unimaginable

08/31/2016

I’ve started this blog post probably 15 times over the past few weeks. I’ve flip-flopped whether to keep my personal and business life separate or if I should let my followers in on the intimate details of my world. Ultimately, I’ve decided that the whole concept of Mommy Connections is to connect with other women, so that we can empower each other and support one another. We are all in this parenting journey together and my hope is that my story can inform or empower even just one other woman going through something similar.

I have breast cancer.

To say the words now, still makes my stomach drop. Older women get breast cancer. People who live unhealthy lifestyles get breast cancer. But me? No, I can’t have breast cancer. I’m a single mom, with two small children… there must be some mistake.

Near the end of May, I happened to feel a small lump on my right breast. I’m young, healthy, and active so I didn’t take much notice. In June, I had an appointment with my family doctor, and mentioned the lump to her. At that time, I had noticed a second lump, near the first one. She sent me for an ultrasound, which showed 6 tumors and calcifications throughout my breast. On August 5^th, I went for a core needle biopsy. They biopsied the two largest tumors. The results came back – malignant.

The cancer cells were shown to be quite aggressive. The tumors are growing at a 3 out of 3 speed. Other than the tumors, the majority of my tissue had calcified. Calcifications were confirmed to have DCIS (early stage breast cancer) which is growing at a 2 out of 3.

I don’t think I will ever forget sitting in the surgeon’s office. “The cancer spans over 11cm. That’s your whole breast. You’ll need a mastectomy.” Ok. Surgery. I can deal with surgery. I can recover. I am strong. “Once you heal, you’ll likely need 4-6 months of chemo”. Freeze. Chemo? My son is starting kindergarten in two weeks. I can’t go through chemo! I need to transition him into school. I’m registered into Grant MacEwan in the fall. Mommy Connections usually run 6 programs in September, I have vacation plans in October. My heart sinks.

It’s been less than one month since my biopsy, and I have 2 surgeries booked. On September 2^nd, I will be going to have lymph nodes removed. Less than a week after that, 2 days after my son starts kindergarten, on September 8^th, I will go in for a mastectomy.

Here’s where you come in. Tonight, after you kiss your children good night and when you’re alone, take a few minutes and feel your breasts. Do you feel any bumps or lumps? Is your nipple inverted? Do you have dimples in your skin, or redness in any area? Make a note of the date and what you felt. In 2 weeks, do this again. Get to know your breasts. Know the changes they go through with your period. Be able to recognize any differences. A simple breast exam like this saved my life. I’ve had to have a conversation with my babies about cancer. This is not a conversation I wish on any family. Early detection saves lives.

For the next few months, I will be on hold. My amazing facilitators will ensure that our fall programs are exceptional. I will be doing something that is so hard for most moms to do – I will be taking care of ME.

Whenever my children get sick, I always tell them that “Rest is Best” and that they need extra kisses and hugs. One night, shortly after my diagnosis, my son woke up and found me in my bed crying. He asked me why I was upset. I told him that Mommy was just a little bit scared about getting sick. His response was perfect. “Mommy. You’re going to get sick for a little while, and then you’ll get better. I will make sure you get lots of kisses and huge and rest on the couch.” My community makes me strong. My friends make me strong. But more than anything, my boys make me strong, and I will beat this for them.

I love and appreciate all the support. I will update on my progress soon.

All my love,

Jen